Massage Tips

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Erotic Massage for Men

Giving a man a truly great erotic massage involves delaying orgasm as long as possible. If you know your partner well enough to know when he's just about to hit the point of no return, good for you. If not, your partner should make some sort of signal for you to stop before he ejaculates. Don't withdraw your hands completely, simply, slow your movements or switch to a deep thigh massage, using the same rhythm as you had just been using on this penis. (Changing rhythm can be too jarring and you'll lose the mood.) Continue the stimulation/retraction sequence at least three times. The resulting orgasm will be much more intense.


Erotic Massage 101

Erotic massage is similar to a typical body massage, except that the genitals are also included as part of the treatment. For men and women, the massage begins the same way – with slow, soothing strokes and rubbing along the back, neck legs, arms, belly, face, and head.

During erotic massage, however, introduce the genitals as subtly as you can. Do this by brushing them lightly with your fingertips (or long hair, if you have it) as you work your way down to the legs, and back up. This serves to awaken arousal, preparing the body for sexual attention. Keep your movements slow and peaceful. (Note: If your partner falls asleep, don't be upset; this is the biggest compliment you can get! You can always try again another time.)

Bonus Tip : The longer you “tease”—by brushing or actually massaging the inner thighs and letting a finger or two stray against the genitals as you do so—the more excited your lover will be when you begin more direct stimulation.


Slick Oil Tips

How do you know what oils or lotions are right for massage?

Oils: Massage oils come in many varieties, from unscented to a wide range of floral, woody, and citrus scents. What you choose really depends on your taste as a couple. There are also edible oils on the market, specifically designed for sensual massage (i.e., you can lick them off your lover's body). Be careful with these, as some people have allergic reactions to them. Test the oil first, both on each other's skin and on your tongues. Some oils cannot be used in conjunction with latex products, so keep this in mind.

Lotions: These are a great alternative if you don't want to deal with the stains oils can make. In addition, lotions don't cause skin breakouts the way oils can, particularly if your skin is oily to begin with. Like oils, however, lotions are not to be used with latex products such as condoms and toys, as they break them down.

Regardless of your preference, get the maximum benefit from your massage lubrication by pouring a small amount into your palm and rubbing hour hands together before touching your lover's body. By doing this, you not only warm up the oil/lotion for a nicer tactile experience, but you'll also better prepare your hands for smooth gliding.


Tools of the Trade

To give your couples' massage the full treatment, you'll need the following items:

  • Flat sheet
  • Hand Towel
  • Bath Towel
  • Oil or lotion
  • Drinking water
Place the flat sheet on the bed in order to protect your sheets from massage oils or lotions. The hand towel, too, is handy for wiping excess oil from your hands. Use the bath towel is also handy for covering your lover's to cover your lover's lower half for the beginning of the massage. This is not so much for modesty as warmth. It's important that the person receiving the massage not ever get cold, as this will counteract the soothing effects of the massage. Choose a lotion or oil appropriate to mood and personal taste (see also my tip on massage oils in this section). After any massage, it's a good idea for the receiving partner to drink at least one glass of room temperature water. This helps to flush out toxins that have been worked out during the massage.

Of course, a more sensual massage can include dressing up the room a bit with candles, flowers, incense, soothing music, etc. These are optional, however. All that really matters is the physical connection between you and your partner.


Why Massage?

Most couples think of a physical relationship only in terms of sex. However, another wonderfully intense way to be physically intimate with you partner is through massage. Massage allows you to pay close attention to your lover's entire body with no time limits or expectations toward progressing toward sex.

When we make love, oftentimes the focus of our attention is the “goal” of orgasm. Naturally, our attentions turn to the genitals as a result. With mutual massage, the pressure to perform and the goal-oriented path are both alleviated. Massage is also a fantastic alternative for couples abstaining from sex for health or personal reasons.

Massage opens up energy channels in the body, allowing natural vitality to flow more freely though the body. It can be relaxing or invigorating, depending on the pressure and speed you choose, as well as the types of oils or lotions you use.

Most importantly, massage brings you closer to your mate. Silent touching brings a whole new mode of communication to your relationship. The best part is, couples can use massage when their relationship is thriving, but also when things are not going as well—it's a perfect way to heal emotional rifts.


Erotic Massage for Women

Pay attention to her body as you touch her. She will indicate she's ready for more intense sexual touching either by opening her legs (giving you better access), rotating her hips a little, or giving verbal cues like moaning or directly saying how good your touches feel. Begin slowly, by lightly stroking the outside of her vagina. Before any penetration with your fingers, be sure you've adequately lubricated them. Note: Never use massage oils or lotions internally unless the bottle indicates that it is safe to do so. Continue to touch other parts of her body as well. Even as you arouse her genitally, you will also be giving her a full-body experience.

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Guru Spotlight
Lynne Christen