Masturbation Tips

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Turkey Basters: They're Not Just for Artificial Insemination Anymore

Millions of women enjoy the feeling or oral sex, but how can that feeling be achieved when you're alone? Here's an interesting approximation (although heaven knows nothing beats the real thing):

Take the rubber end off a (clean!) turkey baster. Run it under warm water. Place the mouth end over your clitoris. Squeeze the bulb, then release. The suction is similar to oral sex.

Bonus Tip : Keep a bowl of warm water next to you and replenish the baster's moisture as needed.

Do many women masturbate?

Women And Masturbation

Masturbation is often seen as a forbidden topic, especially for women. In reality, female masturbation is quite common. In fact, sixty to eighty percent of American women have masturbated at some point in their lives. Interestingly enough, when recent testing was done on this subject, only eighteen percent of American adults were aware of that statistic.

What is masturbation?

Masturbation 101

Masturbation is often the first way we learn about sex. Technically, it involves the self-manipulation of one's genitals toward sexual release (orgasm). Sexual release is not required, however, for masturbation to be an enjoyable experience. It is quite normal to begin masturbating at an early age. Over the years, learning our own bodies and the way they receive pleasure, makes us better equipped to learn about others' and express our desires as lovers.

Will masturbating make a man's penis longer?

Myths About Male Masturbation

Let's debunk a couple of common myths about male masturbation. Masturbating frequently will not make your penis longer. Nor will it have a negative effect on the amount of healthy sperm you produce or your ability to have children. Conversely, not masturbating will not affect your health negatively, either.

What is mutual masturbation?

Mutual Masturbation

A wonderful way to connect with your lover in a very intimate way is to masturbate together. You and your partner can masturbate each other -- that is, caress each other's genitals. Another option is to masturbate in front of each other. By sharing your own pleasure with your partner, you are simultaneously developing a closer bond with him or her as well as showing him or her exactly how you like to be touched.


Be Your Own Lover

Stand in front of a mirror naked. If this is a little too daunting for you, take a moment to prepare yourself beforehand. As you undress, think of a moment you were incredibly turned on. Or consider a time when you were most pleased with yourself.

When you regard your body in the mirror, imagine it is not you looking at yourself, but a lover. Isolate sections of your body and say something positive about each. You'll probably gravitate toward all the sections you don't like about yourself first; it's human. But if you do, be sure to say something—anything—positive about them. Remember, it's not Your Sexual Self talking about your body; it's a lover.

For example, look at your shoulder. Note its curve. Touch it. You might say something like, “You have such soft skin.” Or stare into your own eyes. What would you say to yourself if you were your own lover?

Bonus Tip : Masturbate, but imagine another version of yourself is making love to you. For this exercise, your ideal lover is you .

How do people masturbate?

Masturbation Aides

Masturbation techniques vary from person to person. Often they involve using one's hands and/or fingers. Many people use additional masturbation aides as well. Popular tools include vibrators, dildos, and rubber sleeves (for men). However, a masturbation aide might also be something as simple as running water in a bathtub or rubbing against a pillow.


Your Sexual Self

Make a list of 10 things you like about your sexuality. (Yes, it may sound cheesy at first, but do it anyway.) If you get stuck, think about aspects of your character that even some lovers might not know about you. Or use these questions to spark some ideas:

1. What is your first sexual memory?
2. When did you first discover your own body, sexually?
3. How do you honestly feel about sex?
4. When was your first sexual experience with another person? Was it positive? Negative? Are you indifferent? Why?
5. What was the best sexual experience you have ever had? What made it so?
6. What does “sexy” mean to you?
7. Would you say that you are a sexual person? That is, do you consider sex an important part of you life? Why or why not?
8. How satisfied are you with your current sex life?
9. What are your top three strengths as a lover?
10. What are your top three weaknesses? What do you need to turn them into strengths or eliminate them entirely?

Bonus Tip : Start a Sexual Journal. Take some time once a week to jot down your experiences, thoughts, and questions. Here are a few suggestions about what to add in your journal:

  • New Positions to Try (with a section for notes once you've tried them)
  • Fantasies
  • Sexual Tools
  • Stories
  • Poems
  • Drawings
  • Article Clippings
  • New Ways to Communicate Sexually

What is the best way to give myself sexual release?

Self-love Tips

When it comes to masturbation, anything goes. It's really up to the individual how he or she prefers to experience sexual pleasure. Here are a few basic masturbation tips. First, get comfortable! Allow your body to relax and become full of positive energy. Remember masturbation does not have to be solely a means to get off; in reality, you're making love to yourself.


Bed, Bath, or Beyond: Loving Yourself

In order to be a good lover, you must learn to love yourself first. Take some alone time to develop your own sexual identity, beginning with your mind.

Lie down comfortably, in bed, on the floor, or even in a nice warm bath. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. As you breathe deeply, envision your body filling with light. If it makes it easier, picture a large ball of light above you, sending its rays down to you. With every in-breath, suck in some of this light. When you exhale, expel any negative feelings you have about your body or your sexuality.

Begin to feel your body—not by touching it, but by paying attention to the sensations under your skin. As you bask in the glow of this loving attention, turn your thoughts to yourself as a lover. Imagine yourself radiating pleasure. Not toward anyone in particular (remember, this is about you now). When you have spent a few minutes in this state, open your eyes, and come slowly out of the meditation. See if you can sustain this state of radiating positive energy about yourself as you move to whatever it is you do next with your day.

This tip takes practice. Give yourself 5-10 minutes every day for at least a week to suspend all sexual hang-ups and pressures. Just a few minutes! Be gentle with yourself; it took years to develop negative feelings, so if you have them, give yourself ample time to undo them.


Stroke of Genius

Here's a variation on the classic male masturbation method that's particularly nice as a preparation for sex with a partner:

Stretch out on your side. Take hold of your penis with your non-dominant hand—thumb down, toward the base. (The back of your hand should be facing up.) Use your free hand to prop yourself up a bit, then use your hips only to move yourself in and out of your fist.

Bonus Tip : You may wish to use a little lubrication in your hand in order to better simulate actual intercourse.

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Guru Spotlight
Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.