Looking for advice from others on the best sexual position is not the right way to go. Just because they enjoy something does not mean that you or your partner will. Not to mention, the best way to find out what you really like is to try all of the possibilities together. Believe me, few things in this world are as much fun to experiment with as sex.
Some positions allow for deeper penetration, some allow for easier clitoral stimulation and others offer a greater sense of intimacy, but above all, they are all sex. Try out new things, don't just go by the book or the advice of others. Try angling your bodies in different positions, use props and toys and pay close attention the things that elicit the most favorable response from your partner. Their advice on what is best is really the only one you should be listening to anyway.
This is a slight variation on what's called the “Reverse Cowgirl,” where the woman straddles the man, but faces away from him. In “Reclining Amazon,” the woman lies back on her partner's chest. Some flexibility is needed here, but if you go slowly and unfold each leg until it is straight, you should not have to lose penetration during the transition. This position is very intimate, despite the fact that you and your partner cannot see each other's faces. Both partners are able to receive more pleasure than just penetration as well. The man is able to touch the length of his partner's body—almost as easily as he might touch his own—and the woman is literally able to lie back and enjoy the caresses.
One of the best adjustments to the Female Superior position requires only that the woman place her feet on either side of her partner's hips (rather than her knees, which is the typical position for women-on-top). What makes this adjustment so great? This position allows for optimum control on the woman's part. In addition, the angle of her pelvic bone and genitals creates concentrated stimulation of the penis. In addition, both partners are able to see each other's faces, bodies, and genitals— and both partners have hands free for mutual touching.
This position is ideal for deep penetration, and it only requires one shift from standard missionary position. Instead of the woman's legs stretched out (or lifted) on either side of the man's hips, in the anvil position, the woman raises her feet above her partner's shoulders. Minor flexibility is needed for this position, but not as much as you might think. The more flexible the woman is, the closer her partner can bend down to her, but the deep penetrative effects can still be gained from the couple remaining essentially in a ninety-degree angle.
“Make love, not war” has a whole new meaning with this position. In it, the woman keeps her legs closed during penetration. The man places his legs on the outside of hers. This is a fantastic position for intense stimulation for both partners, particularly if your bodies “fit” together well. Either or both partner can squeeze their legs tighter—woman's together and/or man's against the woman's (although this alters the “peace sign” visual effect)—and the woman can also concentrate on squeezing her PC muscles to contract around the penis.
If you're a “Star Trek” fan (don't judge), you probably know about the Borg. These are half-human, half-machine creatures that adapt automatically to their surroundings. If you shoot at them, they make instant configurations so that they're suddenly immune to bullets. Where sex is concerned, the same thing happens to us: If we get the same stimulation over and over again, it ceases to work as well.
In order to avoid suffering from Borg Sex, you need to infuse variety into your sex life. It's not always about finding clever new positions; it could also be the time of day you make love, the location, or even a switch in who initiates lovemaking.
Since this is a collection of “realistic” better sex tips, I'll include here a couple of variations on the two most popular sexual positions: Man on Top and Woman on Top. This will make it easy to try something new without having to be as limber as a cast member of Cirque du Soleil.
Bonus Tip : When changing up your sexual repertoire, use what's called “The Sandwich Method.” At some point during your “normal” sexual routine, the dominant partner (i.e., the one who happens to be on top this time) should initiate the shift into the variation/new position. Be sure to return to a familiar position to transition out of the newer one.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|