Oral Sex Tips

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Many women are put off giving oral sex because they don't want to deal with the whole swallowing issue. As in, I don't want to, but I don't want to offend him. True, gagging and spitting out his semen is awfully rude. Imagine if a man were to do the same to you! So, here are a few options:

  1. Swallow. Seriously. Try it. It's not as horrible as you may think. Besides, many men find this terribly endearing. (Then again, many men in post-orgasmic stupor aren't really paying attention.) If you really can't stand to swallow…
  2. Catch the semen in your hand as he climaxes, then use it as a lubricant for the final strokes as he orgasms.
  3. As he gets closer to orgasm, let him pull away and ejaculate on your body. This is nice for him and great for your skin!


Deep Throat

If you can “deep throat” your lover's penis—take it in full into your mouth—good for you (and, frankly, good for him). But if you can't, don't worry. You can create the same effect using your mouth and hand.

Slick up the palm on your dominant hand with lubricant or saliva. Then take your lover's penis as far into your mouth as is comfortable. Place your lubed hand at the base of the penis to make up the rest of the length. As you move your mouth up, swirling your tongue around, keep the edge of your lips against your hand. Rotate your hand at the same time. The idea is to have your hand simulate the action of your lips, so curl your forefinger and thumb around the penis and keep the pressure at a similar level. In essence, you'll now have two sets of lips working. Once you get into a rhythm, separate your hand and your lips so that the top and base of get stimulation at the same time. Let the hand take over, then use your mouth and tongue to gently lick your partner's balls. After a while, switch back. Your now-moistened fingers can be used to cup and stroke the scrotum or even begin anal play, if desired.


Getting Oral

The best way to hone your oral sex skills is to practice. (I know. Tragic, right?) Remember there is no one way to do it right. However, you have the best barometer right there in front of you: Your partner. S/he will be able to let you know if what you're doing is working. Ideally, you'll have an expressive partner who can tell you exactly what does and doesn't feel right. But sometimes our partners are not the talking types, so pay attention to even the subtlest of indicators: hip movements, breathing patterns, even the tensed and/or relaxed state of his/her hands. (You want there to be a little tension, but not so much that s/he may be in pain! Always ask if you think you may be hurting your partner.)


Positions? Plural ? Yes, indeedy. It's not all about sticking your head between your reclining lover's legs. Here are a few alternatives to try:

  • Both partners can take turns being on top, straddling you lover's face. For women, this can be a great way to control the amount of stimulation they're receiving. For men, it's a good way to adjust depth of penetration. Keep in mind, though, that this position can be harder on the one performing oral sex. Don't sit down too heavily or thrust so much that you crush or choke your lover.
  • The classic “69” position involves giving mutual oral sex. Both of you lie in opposite directions, on your back and stomach, respectively or on your sides. Some people find it hard to give and receive pleasure at the same time, so test this out to see if it works for you. It may be a nice interlude rather than a means to climax.
  • If you're in bed, each lover can take turns kneeling or squatting on the floor at the edge of the bed. The receiving partner sits (or reclines) with his/her feet dangling off the edge. The performing partner can put a pillow under the knees to avoid getting tired. Bonus Tip: Receiving partner, drape your legs over your lover's shoulders. This gives better access to all of your genitals as well as the anus, for light stroking or full anal stimulation/penetration.


He Likes to Watch

Men are visual creatures. When you give him oral sex, your man may enjoy watching you nearly as much as feeling the sensations of your mouth and hands.

Position yourself between his legs, if he's lying down or sitting, so he can get a good view of you. Pull your hair up if it's long, or let him hold it up for you – this is also quite a tactile pleasure for him. If you're not too shy, try to maintain eye contact with him. Even if you're a bit self-conscious, at least offer him a few glances as you work your magic. From his angle, the entire experience will be far more enriching.


Analingus: The Other Oral Sex

Often overlooked in the world of oral sex is analingus, or lip and tongue stimulation of the anus. Although many see this as a strictly homosexual activity, nothing can be farther from the truth. In fact, if you're already giving oral sex to your partner, you may incorporate analingus into the act. However, this type of stimulation requires a more caution.

  • Start with a clean anus and a clean mouth. You both may choose to shower together beforehand. It's nice foreplay.
  • Never move from anus to vagina or anus to penis directly. You'll need to rinse with antibacterial mouthwash first. Don't forget to swish with water afterwards; the mouthwash may sting your lover's sensitive skin.
  • If you wish to include both anal and oral play, put a dental dam (latex sheets similar to saran wrap) over the anus.
Both men and women have thousands of nerve endings around the edge of the anus, so this kind of stimulation can be incredibly pleasurable. There's no reason to avoid this kind of stimulation, just be safe about it.


Mouth Candy

Men and women who aren't fans of the whole oral sex thing may wish to try one or more of these tips:

  • Take a bath together beforehand, so that both of you have skin that is soft and clean.
  • Sips of champagne throughout the oral sex act is a great break for you and your partner
  • Rub a small amount of non-toxic, edible lubricant on the genitals before you begin. (Use the application as a way to further arouse your partner.)
  • Place a mint in your mouth. Be careful not to “burn” your lover with the mint.
  • Bring some erotic foods into the act. If you and your partner have a good sense of play, make sundae! Add whipped cream, chocolate or caramel sauce, and of course ice cream to your lover's genitals…but forego the spoon and dive in, mouth first!


What's Good for the Goose…

You don't like it when your man goes straight for your clitoris during oral sex, right? Your man feels the same way about his penis. He may have you believe otherwise, but every man enjoy a bit of teasing. It makes the experience more fulfilling. Begin your oral sex by kissing and licking your way down his body. Take you time getting down there. Pay attention to each movement you make; they're designed to turn him on and get him really wanting your mouth. Nipples, chest, belly button—all these are obvious kissing spots. But don't neglect the less obvious like little nibbles on the waist and hips. Once you get to the penis, give it a quick, teasing lick, then move on to the thighs. When you do finally take him into your mouth, the experience will be much more intense.


Give Her Your Digits

As your partner gets more aroused during cunnilingus, you can begin introducing your fingers into the mix. Use one or more well-lubricated fingers to penetrate her vagina, simulating your penis. Again, start out slowly and build up a faster rhythm, while simultaneously penetrating her more deeply. (Don't forget to keep up the tongue action.) Your lover will let you know with body language or oral (sorry for the pun) indicators such as moaning or quickened breathing patterns.

Bonus Tip : At the point where you think you're finished performing, continue for another few minutes. Trust me, she'll be thankful.


Clitoral Stimulation

One of the most flexible parts of our bodies is the tongue—certainly more flexible than the penis (which explains why so many women love oral sex). This oral sex technique will get her going. Use the tip of your tongue for clitoral stimulation, but don't stimulate too hard or too directly, as some women are oversensitive to this. Alternate by flattening your tongue and slowly (really slowly) licking from the base of her vagina to the top, as though you're licking an ice cream cone. As her clitoris becomes more erect, you can begin gentle sucking on it directly. Some women will also enjoy it if you blow lightly on the clitoris. Note: Never blow into the vagina directly, as this can be dangerous.

How can I tell if my partner is enjoying oral sex?

The Number One Oral Sex Tip

Here is one of the best oral sex tips you'll ever learn. It is most important to remember that if you are performing oral sex, your partner's comfort and pleasure is key. Forget what you may have read or seen in films. Pay attention to the reaction of your partner. He or she will best be able to let you know what feels good and what doesn't. There is no "right" way to perform cunnilingus or fellatio. As long as the act is giving pleasure, you're doing just fine!

Is oral sex natural?

Is Oral Sex Normal?

Some people are reluctant to give oral sex. This can be due to a number of reasons, ranging from religious beliefs to personal negative associations with the act. Oral sex is a perfectly natural method of pleasing your lover. It's an ancient, worldwide practice, in fact. One study put out by the Kinsey Institute shows that over 90 percent of married couples engage regularly in oral sex.

What will make me better at performing oral sex?

Am I Doing It Right?

When it comes to developing oral sex technique, practice makes perfect! Learning the correct amount of pressure, direct stimulation, and speed that your partner enjoys can only happen when you experiment. Having a verbally responsive partner is a help. If he or she is the silent type, have no fear. For most men and women, the body doesn't lie. You'll be able to tell by your partner's body language (hip movements, breathing patterns, etc.) whether you're in the zone.

What is oral sex?

The Definition of Oral Sex

By definition, oral sex (also known as oral-genital sex) is the sexual stimulation of genitals by use of the mouth and/or tongue. This may sound technical and perhaps unappealing, but with the right skills, oral sex is immensely pleasurable. And not just for the partner on the receiving end! Oral sex can be a wonderful way to connect with your partner and add variety to your sex life.

What is a blow job?

Oral Vocabulary

There are many different slang terms for oral sex, like blow jobs (for men), going down, sucking off, and more. Slang is useful, but it also helps to know the correct terms. Technically, the word for performing oral sex on a man is fellatio. When performed on a woman, oral sex is called cunnilingus. Knowing these words won't make you a better lover, but they will make you a better educated one!

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