Be Your Own Lover

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Be Your Own Lover

Stand in front of a mirror naked. If this is a little too daunting for you, take a moment to prepare yourself beforehand. As you undress, think of a moment you were incredibly turned on. Or consider a time when you were most pleased with yourself.

When you regard your body in the mirror, imagine it is not you looking at yourself, but a lover. Isolate sections of your body and say something positive about each. You'll probably gravitate toward all the sections you don't like about yourself first; it's human. But if you do, be sure to say something—anything—positive about them. Remember, it's not Your Sexual Self talking about your body; it's a lover.

For example, look at your shoulder. Note its curve. Touch it. You might say something like, “You have such soft skin.” Or stare into your own eyes. What would you say to yourself if you were your own lover?

Bonus Tip : Masturbate, but imagine another version of yourself is making love to you. For this exercise, your ideal lover is you .



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Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.