Anal Sex Tips

Read these 10 Anal Sex Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Sex Education tips and hundreds of other topics.

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Anal Sex Q&A

Let's start by clearing up some questions about anal sex.

Q. If I enjoy anal sex, does it mean I'm gay?
A. No. No. No. And, no. Next question?

Q. Isn't anal sex unhealthy?
A. It can be if you don't take proper safety measures. The rectum carries infection-causing bacteria. Always use a condom during anal sex, and change it every time you switch to vaginal or oral sex and back.

Q. What if I start and I don't like it?
A. This is when anal sex becomes oral: Say something . Of all types of intercourse, anal sex requires that both partners are comfortable with verbal communication. Whether male or female, you have to trust your partner enough to relax and enjoy the experience as well as to speak up if you're having discomfort.

Q. Is anal sex dangerous?
A. Not at all. As long as you start clean, use protection, go slowly, and remember that anything that is used to penetrate the anus must have a flared base to avoid it slipping entirely into the rectum.

Q. So, if anal sex is so great why isn't it more popular?
A. Oh, but it is. It's just that many societies have a stigma against this kind of intercourse for religious or personal reasons. The truth is that anal sex can be highly pleasurable for both partners. There are several nerve endings around the anus that, when stimulated, can enhance arousal. And for men, the anus is the route to stimulate their prostate gland, usually causing a cataclysmically fantastic orgasm!

   

Bonus Tips For Men

Some men, particularly the first time the have anal sex, may lose their erection during anal penetration. It happens. If it does, relax, breathe, and let him decide if he wants to keep trying or try another day.

With prostate stimulation, your lover will probably have a very powerful orgasm. He's probably going to be in such a state of bliss that he's not going to be able to speak for a while. The idea is to keep him in The Happy Place as long as possible. Therefore, immediately after he climaxes, do not yank your finger out . Slide it slowly from his body to avoid shock.

   

First-time Anal Sex: Men

Men tend to have more reservations about anal sex, due to the (unfounded) concerns that enjoying it may question their masculinity. Even those men who agree with digital (finger) penetration my draw the line at other objects like butt plugs and dildos being introduced.

Regardless, here are a few tips for first-time anal play.

  1. Try it the first time during fellatio.
  2. You partner should be sure you are well aroused.
  3. Using a decent amount of lubricant, coat the anus as well as one finger (usually the middle one). Be sure fingernail is clipped short and has no jagged edges. An alternative is to slip a condom over the finger.
  4. While continuing fellatio, your lover should trace around the outside of the anus, stimulating the nerve endings there. (Most men find this to be arousing enough, but it gets better.)
  5. Slowly ease the finger into the anus, stopping briefly after each knuckle, until the entire finger has penetrated him.
  6. Begin to draw small circles with your finger inside his rectum. Some men may not enjoy in-out movements, but you can always try both to see what works.
  7. Prostate Gland Stimulation: Curl your finger toward the front of his body (as if gesturing, “Come here.”).
  8. As you continue with oral stimulation of the penis, press and stroke this area. Sometimes just constant pressure does the trick.
Always be on alert for your lover's guidance and communication. Remember: This is not a conquest; it's supposed to be pleasurable.

   

Bonus Tips For Women

When you have become accustomed to anal sex and both of you know the speed and angle(s) that you prefer, you may try double penetration. The first time, I'd suggest that your lover penetrate you vaginally while you wear a butt plug or insert a small dildo into your anus. Butt plugs are preferable, since they stay put. As you get more flexible with dual pleasure, you can switch to penile anal penetration with a dildo or vibrator in your vagina.

   

First-time Anal Sex: Women

Technically this tip can be used if you've already experienced anal sex, but if you haven't, here's a great way to make sure your first time is truly enjoyable.

Many women avoid anal sex because they worry about the loss of control. You can avoid this by becoming the penetrator.

  1. Have your partner lie down.
  2. Straddle him, either facing him or away (the latter is easier for anal penetration), toward his feet.
  3. Be sure he's wearing a condom.
  4. Use plenty of lubrication on his protected penis as well as your anus. (Don't forget to have fun with the application!)
  5. Take a deep breath and let it out. Repeat throughout.
  6. Position the tip of his penis against your anus. You may wish to masturbate a little to relax the entire region.
  7. Focus on relaxing all your rectal muscles, almost to the point of pushing them out.
  8. Ease yourself down onto his penis as slowly as you wish, stopping whenever you feel yourself clenching up or experiencing pain. The more lubrication, the easier this will be. Feel free to add more lube of have your lover do it for you.
  9. Each time you stop, breathe. Unclench . Then proceed.
The deeper you get, the more the pleasure will begin to take over. It's a different feeling than vaginal penetration, so don't have similar expectations. Anal sex feels more like a full body sensation, warm and exciting. For some women, it quite literally takes their breath away. (That's another reason why breathing is so important!)

   
What is anal sex?

Anal Sex Basics

In essence, anal sex involves penetrating your partner's anus with a penis, finger(s), a dildo, or another anal sex toy, with the goal of experiencing mutual pleasure. But for many, anal sex can be a bit daunting. The first fear is usually the pain factor. In fact, the walls of the anus are actually lined with very sensitive nerve endings. However, it produces no lubrication of its own. Supplemental lubrication must be used and penetration should be slow. If these guidelines are followed, anal sex can be a highly arousing experience.

   
Is anal sex bad for you?

The How To Of Anal Sex

So you'd like to try anal sex... First, it's a good idea to put away any stigmas about anal sex and remember that between two consenting adults, it can be an extremely intimate experience, both physically and emotionally. If you decide to try anal sex, there are three vital things to remember: Be safe, slick, and slow! Ensure your safety by getting clean beforehand and using the protection of a condom during sex. Use lots of lubricant to ensure the partner on the receiving end is comfortable. Finally, take your time! What's the rush? Go slowly enough to avoid discomfort...and to allow you both to experience pleasure to its fullest and most luxurious.

   
Who can receive pleasure from anal sex?

Anal Sex: Truly Equals In Bed!

If you and your partner enjoy more egalitarian sex, anal intercourse is the perfect option. At any given time, each of you can be the giver or receiver of this act of love. Besides the pleasure both of you can receive, there is another benefit that far outweighs just fun. The extra care and attention needed during anal sex offers you and your partner a way to become more intimate. Each of you will have the opportunity to experience some approximation of what the other experiences. And in the end (!), that's a very valuable thing.

   
What items can be used for penetration during anal sex?

Anal Beads

There are several ways both male and female partners can enjoy the pleasures of anal sex using other items for penetration besides penises and fingers. Anal bead sex toys are one of the more exotic toys on the market. They resemble a large necklace: basically, a string of plastic beads. Each bead is inserted into the anus (as many as are comfortable). Slowly, each bead is pulled out. This can be done by either you or your partner. The result is a sensual roller coaster ride for the bearer of the beads!

   
Should I try anal sex?

Anal Sex: The Spa Vacation of Sexual Positions

Think of anal sex as the spa vacation of sexual positions. Because tender areas being penetrated, it's necessary you and your partner relax and take your time -- just like you would on vacation! And what vacation is complete without a few fun toys and gadgets? Anal sex toys are a great option once couples are more comfortable with the basics of anal sex. From butt plugs to dildos to vibrators to anal beads, there are plenty of options for adventuresome lovers who want a holiday...any day of the week.

   
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Patricia Walters-Fischer