Sex Education Tips

Woman-on-Top: “Squatting”

One of the best adjustments to the Female Superior position requires only that the woman place her feet on either side of her partner's hips (rather than her knees, which is the typical position for women-on-top). What makes this adjustment so great? This position allows for optimum control on the woman's part. In addition, the angle of her pelvic bone and genitals creates concentrated stimulation of the penis. In addition, both partners are able to see each other's faces, bodies, and genitals— and both partners have hands free for mutual touching.

Man-on-Top: “The Anvil”

This position is ideal for deep penetration, and it only requires one shift from standard missionary position. Instead of the woman's legs stretched out (or lifted) on either side of the man's hips, in the anvil position, the woman raises her feet above her partner's shoulders. Minor flexibility is needed for this position, but not as much as you might think. The more flexible the woman is, the closer her partner can bend down to her, but the deep penetrative effects can still be gained from the couple remaining essentially in a ninety-degree angle.

Man-on-Top: “Peace Sign”

“Make love, not war” has a whole new meaning with this position. In it, the woman keeps her legs closed during penetration. The man places his legs on the outside of hers. This is a fantastic position for intense stimulation for both partners, particularly if your bodies “fit” together well. Either or both partner can squeeze their legs tighter—woman's together and/or man's against the woman's (although this alters the “peace sign” visual effect)—and the woman can also concentrate on squeezing her PC muscles to contract around the penis.

Borg Sex

If you're a “Star Trek” fan (don't judge), you probably know about the Borg. These are half-human, half-machine creatures that adapt automatically to their surroundings. If you shoot at them, they make instant configurations so that they're suddenly immune to bullets. Where sex is concerned, the same thing happens to us: If we get the same stimulation over and over again, it ceases to work as well.

In order to avoid suffering from Borg Sex, you need to infuse variety into your sex life. It's not always about finding clever new positions; it could also be the time of day you make love, the location, or even a switch in who initiates lovemaking.

Since this is a collection of “realistic” better sex tips, I'll include here a couple of variations on the two most popular sexual positions: Man on Top and Woman on Top. This will make it easy to try something new without having to be as limber as a cast member of Cirque du Soleil.

Bonus Tip : When changing up your sexual repertoire, use what's called “The Sandwich Method.” At some point during your “normal” sexual routine, the dominant partner (i.e., the one who happens to be on top this time) should initiate the shift into the variation/new position. Be sure to return to a familiar position to transition out of the newer one.

SexSpeak: Advanced

Now here's where we take the previous two levels and blow them out of the box. Again, we're not talking nasty, here. (Although there's something to be said for down-and-dirty talk. Some couples love it, and it certainly has its place. We're just not addressing that here.) With the Advanced level, the more creative SexSpeakers can really shine.

Here's the main difference between Basic and Intermediate SexSpeak and Advanced SexSpeak: Advanced SexSpeak isn't about you. Not ultimately, anyway.

To put it another way, Advanced SexSpeakers use their own physical pleasure as a launching pad to bring their partner into their experience of pleasure. This completes the circle of connectivity between you and your lover.

The difference is subtle, but the real kicker is frequency and, of course, timing. You don't want to talk your way through the entire lovemaking session, for sure. A few lines of directed encouragement are great during the first phases of lovemaking. Perhaps stick to Basic and Intermediate SexSpeak during this time. It's also a good idea to stay silent and enjoy each other's bodies for a while as well. As things get heated, so can your SexSpeak. A well-timed, Advanced line can actually send a nearly orgasmic partner right over the edge.