SexSpeak: Overview & Basics

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SexSpeak: Overview & Basics

“Talk dirty to me.” Have you ever heard your lover ask that of you? Did it feel like the emotional equivalent of being dropped into a 100-gallon tank of piranhas? Oh, the pressure!

Don't worry. “Talking dirty” has many connotations. Usually your partner is not so much asking you to whip out a stream of one-liners you'd hear in a bad porn film as to speak intimately to him/her while you make love.

Defined in general terms, “SexSpeak” is the stuff you say to your lover in the height of passion. Beyond the moans and groans of pleasure (which are undoubtedly delightful), SexSpeak is the articulation of your arousal in spoken language. At its most basic form, it comprises phrases like “Oh, baby,” “Yeah, right there,” “Oh, my god,” etc. But for the connoisseur, SexSpeak can actually serve as a technique that will bring your lover to new heights of pleasure.

Try using a few encouraging phrases in your next lovemaking encounter. Remember that when you express yourself during sex by using verbal language all you are doing is giving your partner a green light. Simple SexSpeak (like the examples given above) serves to do one thing: it lets your lover know that you are enjoying yourself.



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Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.