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To be sexually intimate without having sex is a wonderful way to keep relationships healthy. A titillating way to accomplish intimacy is to share fantasies. This can be daunting, since many of us worry others may think our desires are strange. Here's a tip: There's probably nothing you can dream up that hasn't been thought of or even done by millions of others since the history of sex began.
What's important is that you establish an atmosphere of safety and respect when you share your fantasies with your lover. As you speak, pretend you're telling an erotic story. Be specific about what turns you on in each aspect of the fantasy. As you listen, shut off your own desires for now and be receptive to how your lover is getting turned on. It's a great opportunity to get to know each other in a way others never will.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|