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Not everyone can afford state-of-the art sex toys like dildos and vibrators. Almost everyone can afford vegetables, though. One of the best vegetables for sex play is zucchini. If you're a little weirded out by this thought, consider this: vegetables have been used as sex toys for thousands of years. In many ways, they're better than their silicone and latex counterparts because they're often more flexible, fresher, and disposable (or edible, if you so desire).
Buy a smallish zucchini to start. Keep it in the fridge for a day or so to get it nice and cool. Just before use, peel the zucchini, making sure to remove all the skin (especially at the rounded end). Use the stem end as the “handle.” You may wish to try masturbating with the zucchini on your own at first, if you feel a little silly. However, there's a lot to be said for sharing this particular game. It's novelty goes a long way.