Let’s not overlook the skill of SexSpeak. “Talking dirty” is so significant that it’s become something of a fetish. (Phone sex is probably the most popular application.)
We’ve dealt with how to do it in the “Positions & Techniques” section, but here’s the key to turning SexSpeaking into an art: Before you think too much, say what feels good. Be honest. The only real difference between Basic, Intermediate, and Advanced SexSpeak is how specific you get.
The next time you make love, try incorporating at least one line of Intermediate or Advanced SexSpeak into your encounter. Here are a few suggestions:
Tell him/her what s/he is doing that feels good.Tell him/her what you want right at that moment.Show appreciation for some part of your lover’s body that is giving you pleasure (i.e., soft hands, hair that smells good, watching him/her masturbate, etc.)
Bonus Tip: Perhaps the best suggestion for SexSpeak is letting your partner know when you are about to orgasm. The benefits of this communication are endless. Not only are you sharing your experience with your partner, but also you are teaching him/her about exactly how you get aroused and achieve release. This is invaluable information for a lover! Not only that, many couples find that a lofty goal such as simultaneous orgasm can be achieved when both partners keep each other apprised of their arousal levels.
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|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|