April 11, 2008, Newsletter Issue #111: Introducing Erotica and Pornography

Tip of the Week


One of the best ways for a couple to introduce erotica and/or pornography into their sex lives is to shop for it together. Have a discussion beforehand about what turns you both on. You may want to make a list separately and then generate a new one based on your mutual interests.

You may find that each of you has one or two “must haves” that you don’t share (i.e., Japanese anime, light S&M, amateur porn). In this case, consider adding one of each to your mutual list.

Shop together online or in a sex shop, and add one or two items that cover mutual interests. For the other’s “must have” perhaps you can rent a film, for example, instead of purchasing it until you warm up to the idea (if you ever do). The important thing is to use these as sexual aids, not replacements for areas that may be lacking in your sex lives. Any problems you have should be dealt with through discussion alone or in the presence of a trained therapist.

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