March 21, 2008, Newsletter Issue #108: The Reality of Fantasy

Tip of the Week

Human sexuality is a very complex thing. And speaking of complexes, the judgments we make on others’ sources of sexual arousal typically come from our own deeply rooted sense of right and wrong. (Don’t believe me? Think of a time when you were offended by someone else’s turn-on. Why was it “wrong” to you?)

Fantasy can be an escape from societal norms. Our ability to work out our frustrations or investigate taboo areas is actually healthy in an active mind. However, when fantasy becomes reality, another set of rules must come into play. When it comes down to it, as long as no one is being exploited or hurt, sexual practices within an infinite range of possibilities are perfectly healthy and exciting.

Erotica and pornography are often tools to fuel these sexual behaviors. So, where’s the tip in all this? Be open-minded to your lover’s turn-ons. When you both share your innermost thoughts about sex, don’t be quick to judge your partner. And be aware of the difference between fantasy and real-life sexual activity (i.e., many women have rape fantasies, but that doesn’t mean they want to be raped in reality. Many straight men have homosexual fantasies, but have no intention of acting on them in real life.) Keep communication open and honest. It’s an easy passageway to a much richer life together.

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