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One of the most beautiful aspects of human nature is our versatility. When it comes to sexual intimacy, nearly every single one of us regardless of gender at one point or another, desires both quickie, “let's get it on” encounters and hours of sweet tender lovemaking, depending on our mood and situation.
The first step toward having more loving sex is to redefine your terms. Remember that man/woman you fell in love with (or at least lusted after) when you fist met? Guess what? Chances are s/he's not the same person. As humans we are affected by the world around us. We learn from it and grow. This is a good thing!
Try to see the man/woman your partner has become—and will will continue to become as the years go on. You are not responsible for him/her, but rather as a partner you are something like a cheerleader, therapist, and best friend rolled into one. By giving each other the space to live and grow on your journeys as individuals, and by sharing your experiences with each other, your life together will remain fresh and new. The blush of physical passion that brought you together will blossom into a deeper, more mature companionship.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|