February 15, 2008, Newsletter Issue #103: What is Afterplay?

Tip of the Week


The moments after making love are just as important as the ones before and during. Unfortunately, they are often overlooked in a Mission Accomplished kind of way. For example, when we meditate, the idea is to maintain mindfulness even after we finish the mediation session. In a way, the same goes for sex.

We all know the stereotypical ideas of how men and women react differently to the post-coital state: Men like to sleep, women like to talk. In truth, each person is different. I know of women who love to curl up and sleep, and men who love to do an immediate play-by-play rehash of the sex they just had. Takes all kinds.

The important thing for couples is not to take these afterplay moments for granted. Since sex is an act of deep intimacy, the period immediately afterwards should honor that exchange. Iím not saying you need to light candles or sing songs of praise to one another. However, do whatever it takes to respect the moment. The tips in this section will give you a few specific ideas, but you and your partner will need to decide what works for you.

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Lynda Moultry