Read these 17 Safe Sex/Sex Without Sex Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Sex Education tips and hundreds of other topics.
Mutual masturbation is perhaps the most gratifying safe sex act ever discovered. It combines the thrill of voyeurism with the intimacy of seeing your lover in bliss. There is no touching of body parts (except your own, of course), so the risk of infection is nil. (Be careful of bodily fluids making contact, however.)
Some couples may be averse to sharing such a private act, but I beg you to give it a try at least once. By sharing this act of pleasure, you drag it out of the dark of possible shame and into the light of a more connected state between the two of you. Besides all that, it's hot . Seriously.
Close your eyes. What does the bottom of your lover's right foot look like? Don't know? Have you ever seen it?
Time to fix all that.
Get naked together. Choose a place where you are most comfortable, either in bed, in a bath, or even lounging on the couch.
Take turns exploring each other's body. For each place you touch, try to invest as many senses as you can in the action. For example, if you touch the small of your lover's back, feel the hairs under your fingertips. Smell the scent of his/her skin. Taste it. What are the sensations you feel in your body as you do this?
Take your time on each area. Don't rush! It may feel odd, but keep going. And it's perfectly okay to laugh and have fun while you investigate each other.
I don't know how this idea that having sex on the third date became so popular that it has actually become dating etiquette, but it's very damaging. Always trust your gut when it comes to whether or not to have sex with someone. Don't ever use sex to keep a relationship going or because you fear losing someone's interest. It debases you as well as the act of love itself.
Needing guidelines such as “The Third Date Rule” to negotiate interactions with other human beings presumes that we have lost contact with our instincts. Do not accept that. It is natural to be attracted to someone and it's natural not to. Listen to your body, listen to your heart.
Bonus Tip : Forget the “Wait Three Days Before Calling” rule, too. Here's why: Picture a female bird in a tree singing for a mate. Now imagine there's a male bird in the neighboring tree saying, “Yeah, I'll call back in a few days. I don't want to seem desperate.” Ridiculous, right? Go with nature. Be honest.
Next time you're both in the mood, try reading some erotic stories to each other. There are plenty of compilations of fine erotica to be found in any bookstore. Find a collection you both will enjoy. Choose one story apiece, and read it out loud to your lover.
Bonus Tip : Both of you can get naked for story time. Don't allow your lover to touch you as you read. Make sure you get through the whole story!
The practice of “heavy petting” probably conjures up an image of two teenagers grappling in the back of a steamy-windowed car. However, petting is a wonderful prelude or alternative to actual intercourse. Petting is defined as touching or rubbing against a partner's body in a sexual manner, toward release.
There are, however, many variations on a theme as far a heavy petting is concerned. One of the most fun for long-time couples is to spend an evening petting instead of making love. Begin as you normally would begin a lovemaking session, only this time, restrict yourselves from actually having intercourse. Knowing this ahead of time will make the petting session even more intense. Remember, there's no rule against having an orgasm, just no penetration. See how creative you can get!
Bonus Tip (for the truly adventuresome and/or truly horny): Keep your clothes on.
Condoms are not just for men anymore. Female condoms provide women and men with an additional choice to protect themselves from both unintended pregnancy and the transmission of diseases. The female condom is inserted in the vagina, and protects it as well as the cervix and external genitalia. Since it loosely lines the vagina, it is not tight or constricting. Another great perk is that it can be inserted before intercourse, so it will not interrupt sexual spontaneity. Also, the female condom does not need to be removed immediately after ejaculation.
No birth control is 100% effective besides abstinence (not having sex). That said, if you are having sex, you should pick the type of birth control most effective and best for you. Remember, much of what makes birth control effective is using it properly as instructed. Here is a partial list of types of birth control and their effectiveness:
Male condom: 87%-97%
Female condom: 79%
Contraceptive sponge: 64%-82%
Cervical cap: 80%
Intrauterine devices (IUD): 98%-99%
The pill: 97%-99%
Contraceptive patch: 98%-99%
Vaginal ring: 99%
No one likes to think of sex as a hazardous act. But it doesn't have to be a hassle to practice safe sex, either. Keep condoms near the bed (or wherever you make love) for easy access. That way the momentum of foreplay will not be diminished. Putting your partner's condom on for him can also be a continuation of foreplay. Find ways to incorporate safe sex into your lovemaking to ensure mutual health and happiness.
More and more people are waking up to the importance of protected sex. Condom companies have begun to take notice. Now, condoms are made in a wide variety of styles and sizes. In this way, both partners receive maximum benefit. Some condoms have "ticklers" on the tip, to help with female stimulation. Others are pre-lubricated, some with Nonoxinol-9, a spermicidal agent. There are also condoms that come in vibrant colors and patterns...or even glow in the dark!
Sex is no doubt an enjoyable experience. These days, however, with the threat of infection by the HIV virus as well as other STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), having safe sex is a must. Condoms should be used during every sexual act, including oral sex. Barring abstinence, this is the best way to protect yourself from disease.
There are several choices for birth control that one can use. Here are some of the most common or popular forms:
-Abstinence: Abstinence is choosing to abstain or not have sex. This is a 100 percent effective method.
-Condoms: Male condoms are a barrier method of birth control. The condom blocks the sperm from reaching the egg during intercourse. A condom is worn on a penis.
-Oral Birth Control: Another highly popular method. This is in pill form taken by a female that stops her eggs from being released during ovulation.
-IUD: The IUD is becoming a more popular choice. It is a highly effective device that is inserted in a woman's uterus by a doctor. The IUD causes a hormone to be released that discourages sperm from reaching the egg. Depending on the choice of IUD, one can remain in the body from 1 to 5 years or longer.
-Depo Provera: This shot is given every 3 months and contains the hormone progestin.
Diaphragm: Shaped like a cap, it is inserted in the vagina before intercourse. The diaphragm stops sperm from reaching the egg.
These are just a few of the available forms of birth control. For more information about which one is right for you, please see your doctor.
When it comes to your sexual health, finding updated information can be difficult. Many don't even know where to begin searching. While there are plenty of magazines and books available on the subject of safe sex, medical advancements in this area are occurring rapidly. How should you keep up with the times? The most recent safe sex information is best obtained from your health care provider or by searching reputable resources online.
Essentially, sex without sex is the exploration of physical intimacy without intercourse/penetration. There are hundreds of ways to achieve gratification with your partner, but in our sex-obsessed society we're often not exposed to these (sometimes ancient) practices.
Whether you've chosen to abstain from sex for a period of time—until marriage or if you're just taking a break from sex in order to explore deeper connections with your partner—Sex Without Sex offers a vast and exciting world of possibility.
Dental dams are rectangular latex sheets used most often by dentists during certain oral procedures. Unpunctured, they can also be used to prevent the spread of STDs during oral sex and/or analingus.
But where can you get them? One of the easiest ways is to make your own, using a condom.
It may seem odd to find a tip about abstinence in a collection about better sex. But this tip is so simple, you may have overlooked it as a possibility.
Stop having sex. Not forever, but for a set period of time. If you're in a relationship, maybe a week will do. If you're not, perhaps a month. During that time, concentrate on all events, activities, entities, etc. that give you pleasure: Favorite music, food, sunshine, snuggling up in bed, taking an evening stroll, a bath… Keep a journal if you're so inclined.
At the end of the period of abstinence, mentally place sex as one of these pleasures, in equal value. In other words, level out the playing field and put sex in perspective. Try to see it as beautiful as a sunset or a fine piece of chocolate. In this way, you'll have discovered more opportunities to experience bliss in your daily life.
Since the HIV/AIDS epidemic hit in the 1980s, we've become more aware of protecting ourselves against STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Sadly, the act of love has been turned into a battleground on which our lover has become a possible enemy. However, with right attitude and right action, it doesn't have to remain that way.
There are many ways to enjoy intimacy with a partner without putting yourself (or your partner) at risk. Using condoms and dental dams are the obvious choice. But this doesn't always alleviate the sense of alienation and distance a couple can feel when using them.
The key is how you approach sex. In fact, having to be more careful means we also have to get more creative—find new ways to connect with our minds and bodies. If you think about it, the need to protect ourselves against STDs can actually be a blessing in disguise. By rethinking what sexual intimacy means, we can experience a more fulfilling love life.
Tonight, ask your lover to name three things besides intercourse (i.e. penetration) that most thrills him/her. Name three yourself. When you next make love, focus on these three things, if only by paying closer attention to them as they occur. Luxuriate on them a little longer than you normally would. This is a great step toward developing greater intimacy.
Does anyone really like using condoms? Whether we do or not, condoms are a necessity. So, here's an easy tip to make using one more fun: Break up the interruption of putting on a condom by having your partner do it for you…with his/her mouth.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|