Read these 15 Oral Sex Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Sex Education tips and hundreds of other topics.
Many women are put off giving oral sex because they don't want to deal with the whole swallowing issue. As in, I don't want to, but I don't want to offend him. True, gagging and spitting out his semen is awfully rude. Imagine if a man were to do the same to you! So, here are a few options:
If you can “deep throat” your lover's penis—take it in full into your mouth—good for you (and, frankly, good for him). But if you can't, don't worry. You can create the same effect using your mouth and hand.
Slick up the palm on your dominant hand with lubricant or saliva. Then take your lover's penis as far into your mouth as is comfortable. Place your lubed hand at the base of the penis to make up the rest of the length. As you move your mouth up, swirling your tongue around, keep the edge of your lips against your hand. Rotate your hand at the same time. The idea is to have your hand simulate the action of your lips, so curl your forefinger and thumb around the penis and keep the pressure at a similar level. In essence, you'll now have two sets of lips working. Once you get into a rhythm, separate your hand and your lips so that the top and base of get stimulation at the same time. Let the hand take over, then use your mouth and tongue to gently lick your partner's balls. After a while, switch back. Your now-moistened fingers can be used to cup and stroke the scrotum or even begin anal play, if desired.
The best way to hone your oral sex skills is to practice. (I know. Tragic, right?) Remember there is no one way to do it right. However, you have the best barometer right there in front of you: Your partner. S/he will be able to let you know if what you're doing is working. Ideally, you'll have an expressive partner who can tell you exactly what does and doesn't feel right. But sometimes our partners are not the talking types, so pay attention to even the subtlest of indicators: hip movements, breathing patterns, even the tensed and/or relaxed state of his/her hands. (You want there to be a little tension, but not so much that s/he may be in pain! Always ask if you think you may be hurting your partner.)
Positions? Plural ? Yes, indeedy. It's not all about sticking your head between your reclining lover's legs. Here are a few alternatives to try:
Men are visual creatures. When you give him oral sex, your man may enjoy watching you nearly as much as feeling the sensations of your mouth and hands.
Position yourself between his legs, if he's lying down or sitting, so he can get a good view of you. Pull your hair up if it's long, or let him hold it up for you – this is also quite a tactile pleasure for him. If you're not too shy, try to maintain eye contact with him. Even if you're a bit self-conscious, at least offer him a few glances as you work your magic. From his angle, the entire experience will be far more enriching.
Often overlooked in the world of oral sex is analingus, or lip and tongue stimulation of the anus. Although many see this as a strictly homosexual activity, nothing can be farther from the truth. In fact, if you're already giving oral sex to your partner, you may incorporate analingus into the act. However, this type of stimulation requires a more caution.
Men and women who aren't fans of the whole oral sex thing may wish to try one or more of these tips:
You don't like it when your man goes straight for your clitoris during oral sex, right? Your man feels the same way about his penis. He may have you believe otherwise, but every man enjoy a bit of teasing. It makes the experience more fulfilling. Begin your oral sex by kissing and licking your way down his body. Take you time getting down there. Pay attention to each movement you make; they're designed to turn him on and get him really wanting your mouth. Nipples, chest, belly button—all these are obvious kissing spots. But don't neglect the less obvious like little nibbles on the waist and hips. Once you get to the penis, give it a quick, teasing lick, then move on to the thighs. When you do finally take him into your mouth, the experience will be much more intense.
As your partner gets more aroused during cunnilingus, you can begin introducing your fingers into the mix. Use one or more well-lubricated fingers to penetrate her vagina, simulating your penis. Again, start out slowly and build up a faster rhythm, while simultaneously penetrating her more deeply. (Don't forget to keep up the tongue action.) Your lover will let you know with body language or oral (sorry for the pun) indicators such as moaning or quickened breathing patterns.
Bonus Tip : At the point where you think you're finished performing, continue for another few minutes. Trust me, she'll be thankful.
One of the most flexible parts of our bodies is the tongue—certainly more flexible than the penis (which explains why so many women love oral sex). This oral sex technique will get her going. Use the tip of your tongue for clitoral stimulation, but don't stimulate too hard or too directly, as some women are oversensitive to this. Alternate by flattening your tongue and slowly (really slowly) licking from the base of her vagina to the top, as though you're licking an ice cream cone. As her clitoris becomes more erect, you can begin gentle sucking on it directly. Some women will also enjoy it if you blow lightly on the clitoris. Note: Never blow into the vagina directly, as this can be dangerous.
Here is one of the best oral sex tips you'll ever learn. It is most important to remember that if you are performing oral sex, your partner's comfort and pleasure is key. Forget what you may have read or seen in films. Pay attention to the reaction of your partner. He or she will best be able to let you know what feels good and what doesn't. There is no "right" way to perform cunnilingus or fellatio. As long as the act is giving pleasure, you're doing just fine!
Some people are reluctant to give oral sex. This can be due to a number of reasons, ranging from religious beliefs to personal negative associations with the act. Oral sex is a perfectly natural method of pleasing your lover. It's an ancient, worldwide practice, in fact. One study put out by the Kinsey Institute shows that over 90 percent of married couples engage regularly in oral sex.
When it comes to developing oral sex technique, practice makes perfect! Learning the correct amount of pressure, direct stimulation, and speed that your partner enjoys can only happen when you experiment. Having a verbally responsive partner is a help. If he or she is the silent type, have no fear. For most men and women, the body doesn't lie. You'll be able to tell by your partner's body language (hip movements, breathing patterns, etc.) whether you're in the zone.
By definition, oral sex (also known as oral-genital sex) is the sexual stimulation of genitals by use of the mouth and/or tongue. This may sound technical and perhaps unappealing, but with the right skills, oral sex is immensely pleasurable. And not just for the partner on the receiving end! Oral sex can be a wonderful way to connect with your partner and add variety to your sex life.
There are many different slang terms for oral sex, like blow jobs (for men), going down, sucking off, and more. Slang is useful, but it also helps to know the correct terms. Technically, the word for performing oral sex on a man is fellatio. When performed on a woman, oral sex is called cunnilingus. Knowing these words won't make you a better lover, but they will make you a better educated one!
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|