December 5, 2008, Newsletter Issue #145: Sex and Parenthood

Tip of the Week

Being a parent offers the best of us enormous challenges as it is, not the least of which is keeping a once-active sex life alive. For any new parents – whether it’s your first child or your fourth – a few obstacles are almost certain to arise.

Exhaustion: Between the baby’s off-kilter sleeping schedule, feedings, changing, and more, the very thought of making love can seem like some far-fetched luxury! The good news is that babies do sleep. Try to be flexible enough to take advantage of the time you have to yourselves. Even sharing a cuddle during your baby’s down time will increase intimacy between the two of you.

Physical Changes: Vaginal dryness is perhaps one of the most common experiences among new mothers. Breast-feeding can increase due to the decreased amount of fluid in your body. Try using a lubricant. Today many are even made with a woman’s physiology in mind.

Physical Pain: In general, most women are able to have sex without discomfort after about six weeks. Don’t be discouraged if it takes longer; every body adjusts at its own pace. There are many ways to make love without penetration, such as intimate touching and sexplay (like mutual masturbation).

Overall, remember that there is no “right” time to become sexually active again after having a baby. What counts more than anything else is the love and affection you and your partner show each other. By being loving with each other, you’re also developing a healthy child who will grow up to find joyfulness in love.

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